When I was Eva's age- 5-6ish- I was in kindergarten. During coloring time I would sit next to my friend Lisa Fulton and either she or I would turn to the other and say "Copy?" If it was my turn to copy, she would draw a picture and I would draw mine as identically to hers as I could muster and when we were done coloring we would look at our pictures on the table in front of us, perfect copies of each other with trees and flowers and rainbows and houses and little people holding hands. Lots of love.

I think about this a lot these days when I sit down to color with Eva, that and the fact that if you had asked me several years ago, I would have told you that you definitely don't give children, particularly girls, coloring books because they get in the way of creativity and unnecessarily stress perfectionism. (I didn't believe in giving children apple juice at one time or another as well...) But what do you do when your daughter asks for coloring books? If you are me, you think about it a little and of course you give her coloring books, with fairies and unicorns no less, and you think and think and think some more. And you never ever tell her to stay in the lines because where is the fun in that? That would be beside the point. That would suggest a right way and a wrong way to color and I am definitely about there being so many ways to do things it takes all of us to find them out. When I color with her I practice coloring with my left hand or I practice just coloring and going against the grain of what I have been taught and I color outside the lines, without regard for the lines, any which way I can.

This is something Eva loves to do and I enjoy spending a good bit of time each week connecting through coloring. I don't worry any more about the coloring books stunting creativity, at least not with Eva, because she is always drawing on her own. Everywhere I turn there is another Eva creation, on my budget sheet, in my journal, on the grocery list, in her blank books, she fills them all up with her own drawings all day long. She brings them to me and tells me the stories behind them. She takes them with her and draws more in the car or at doctor's appointments or leaning up against me while I pay the bills or answer email, more connection with crayons and hugs. Lots of love.

Lately Eva has taken to wanting to copy the coloring book pages to match the pictures on the cover or she wants to make sure the grass is colored green or the princess' dress is white. When we sit down to color, Eva will tell me which colors I am to use and which colors she will use. It makes me wonder if this is what you do when you are this age, particularly when I think about my own experience. Copy? I notice how often we as parents decide this is "how our kids are" and suddenly a stage, something our children are learning or trying out becomes who they are forever because even when they are ready to move on to the next thrill, we hold on to what they are trying out.

Eva tries out copying, to get it just right, coloring the dragon just the right shade of green or blue, so that she can move on to the next right thing. And before that, she tried out coloring the unicorns purple. The people's hair was green. Maybe it is that there is a continuum that we all move along at our own pace, trying out what we can, when we are able. When we are through, and only when we are through, we move on to our next big thrill. I love the idea of supporting my kids, of supporting myself even, in whatever they are immersed in so that when they have mastered something, they own it for themselves and are able to let it go and move on to whatever the next thing is they need, whatever will spark their enthusiasm and help them feel complete and alive. What a wonderful world it would be if everyone were able to find out what their next big things was, if no one were held to what they have already mastered, and if we could all just let go when we were ready.