snow

So much for spring. Of course, the snow's all gone now, leaving us only with weather that feels a little-bit-colder-than-usual for this time of year, reminding us of our brief brush with Winter.



There was just enough snow yesterday for the kids to make the beginnings of a snow creature. Here is the head, I believe, of a snow vulture, of all things, to be exact.

snow day

It snowed! Yep. They said it would and it did! Quick, get outside before it melts!

spring weather

Well, unfortunately (for now) there was no Sweet pea planting today. Eva and I were sick and it was too cold for me to be out in the garden. We had one of those mixed-up Portland spring days with sunshine and hail that I love and look forward to. I thought for sure there would be a rainbow thrown in there somewhere. There is snow predicted here over the next couple of days. Now that I know the violets and crocuses can handle snow, I am looking forward to seeing if anything comes of it. I never did buy the kids snow boots this year. It would be crazy if they needed them now, just as I'm planting the first seeds in the garden.

snowy wood violets

We woke up to {a little bit of} snow this morning. I'm happy to say that the flowers who were blooming seem to be all set for a little surprise snowfall.

Well, the dramamine I took to not-have-motion-sickness on the train on the way back from Seattle worked better than not having taken any on the way to Seattle (as in, I was *much* less sick on the way home, although I still couldn't walk around or look out the train, etc. the ginger ale and saltines also helped immensely...) Still, something about the medicine in the less-drowsy formula gave me an incredibly intense migraine all last night and today. I'm sure it didn't help that I was traveling and tired and all that goes along with that. The kids enjoyed their time at home today and I spent quite a bit of it in bed, either resting or sleeping or spending time with cats. I'm hoping this migraine {that seems to be finally winding down} will be completely gone by tomorrow so I can get back to other things like knitting and taking walks. The sun isn't shining but it has warmed up enough that the outsides were calling out to me today. I'm hoping to spend some more time out in the yard with the now blooming snowdrops. Maybe I'll uncover some more crocus buds while I'm at it...

outside

Gorgeous day spent outside pruning roses and checking out the bulbs poking out here and there. It has been such a relief to spend some time over the last couple of days outside- both out in the yard and on the patio reading. Eva and I took a walk around the neighborhood and saw an incredible amount of moss and heather in bloom. In our own backyard, behind the part of the yard most flooded by our recent deluge, we even found snowdrops in bloom! And wood violets blooming near the house...

I had some fun with the hipstamatic app. on my itouch out and about in the yard-



First growth on rose bushes and a big pile of pruned stems.



If you look very, very closely through the swampy growth, there are actual snowdrops beginning to bloom. I couldn't go much further in because there was at least six inches of water on the ground out there. My socks were soggy after I finished checking out the flowers and Eva's boots are still on the heater waiting to dry out.



Carrots in the garden with their tops nibbled off. The guinea pigs and I have been enjoying these carrots over the last week or so.



Eva and I found no less than five different types of bulbs already poking out of the ground. And yes! These are some of the wood violets blooming. The smell while I pruned the roses was amazing. I can never get enough of their fresh sweet scent.

Outside on a day like today...

I just finished up a couple of exhausting and, as usual, humbling migraine-y days that began with a lot of pre-migraine symptoms, which were then followed by the actual migraine and then more actual migraine and then some crazy post-migraine, which was mainly just more exhaustion and not nearly enough a-ha-ing, for my taste. (A-ha-ing being one of the better side-effects of the migraine state of mind.) The pre-migraine this time had a lot to do with not being able to focus and feeling just very generally overwhelmed and done, and coming after Christmas- what turned out to be a very hectic-feeling Christmas for me, at that- it was a bit much. And part of that day was spent at Toys R Us. Right.

So, today was a huge relief and I spent a good bit of it outside doing yard work, cleaning up the patio, and raking leaves in the back on the patio and in the front in the foyer, which feels so clean and open now. All of that raking I put off back in October and November to either spend time with Maxwell or mourn Maxwell's passing has been- at least in part- taken care of and well worth putting off.

It was exhilarating being outside in the December sunshine with the geese flying overhead, particularly after the migraine was over. There tends to be, for me, a lovely sense of calm and clarity after a migraine that I wholeheartedly appreciate. A bit of silver-lining after the storm, if you will. Being outside really accentuates this feeling, what with the other creatures around me continuing on with it all and the enduring beauty of the world, punctuated {today} by circling seagulls and my rescuing of any number of stranded worms after I had raked up their adopted habitats. These are the sorts of things that will keep my eyes misty and searching on a day like today.

In between bits of sunshine, we had some *very* wintry weather, complete with the longest hail storm I have ever witnessed, or so it seemed at the time. This was followed by several variations on the theme of frozen-water-falling-from-the-sky, including {what I would label as} sleet, a little freezing rain, some slush and then a bit of regular rain. We are supposed to get some actual snow tonight, which would be fun, but I would enjoy an ice storm as well. If it's going to be impossible to drive around here, it might as well be as lovely as it can be. (Winter! Go ahead and pull out all of the stops. I know you are nearly done here in Oregon, as far as any freezing temperatures go {really} and ready to return to rain at any moment.)

All of that shopping going on indoors, here's what's going on outdoors.



A little sandbox optimism. Life continuing on wherever it finds itself, even {or is it especially?} in the wintry muck that is our sandbox this time or year.



And underneath, it's a mossy wonderland.

solstice cookies

It's looking like it might be possible for us to see at least some of the lunar eclipse tonight. (I love that the last time this happened- a lunar eclipse of a full moon on the winter solstice- was in 1638!) The kids and I just went and checked on the moon and it was still there. We could see it, that's for sure, which bodes well for us being able to see it again at another point in the next few hours. It is fairly overcast but a glimpse is all we need.

Eva and I had an impromptu mini-solstice celebration tonight. We rolled out some gingerbread dough, made lots of gingerbread men and families, hearts, snowmen and the the like, and even hung some on the tree. This is something we did when I was a kid and I love the tradition. It is also an easier tradition (and one that others are willing to undertake with me) than the other one I love, hanging stringing popcorn and cranberries. When I was a kid, we used to string several strands of popcorn and cranberries in anticipation of the tree. They would be hanging across all of the tables in the kitchen and dining room, and even off of some chairs, before we were done. Alas, no one, not even myself, can be urged to string them these days. It seems like we've done them a few times over the years, but nothing like hanging cookies on the tree.

Of course, when we hang the cookies on the tree, we have to make sure we hang them high enough so that Jack won't eat them all. One year he nibbled most of several cookies that a toddler Eva had hung on the lower half of the tree. That year had to have been a boon for him, one I am sure he looks back on with fond memories, or a belly ache, because he ate A LOT of cookies. It is a hoot to watch him try and eat the hanging cookies without falling into the tree, which is a liability of the project for him and one that will happen if he leans too far in and tries to eat the whole cookie. He must leave just enough cookie so that he doesn't have to lean too far, but not too much that he feels he isn't getting enough cookie. And then he juts his lips out, and his teeth out, and gingerly grabs hold of said cookie, gently pulling it toward him, nibbling off as much as he is able. Then it's on to the next one. And the next. This year I've already found one Jack-eaten-cookie on the tree. Eva hung most of them up higher than he can reach and he's having to do some detective work to find a few that he can stretch up to. I almost want to make it a little easier for him, if only to catch a video of the scene.



Incidentally, the kids and I only got to see the very beginnings of the eclipse last night, which actually was really nice and a good visual to help them imagine what was to come. We even stayed awake- mostly- to see if we could see more later. It began to rain, though, and stayed overcast for the next several hours and is still overcast this morning. I was wondering about the people who lived here back when the last eclipse on the solstice full moon happened. I wondered if they had a clear night to view the eclipse. What kind of celebration they had. And if they knew that we would be here so many years later, hoping to catch a glimpse of the eclipse and wondering about them. When I told Samuel how long ago the last eclipse like this had been, he became very excited and wanted us to keep going out to check. He even went out himself once, sometime very close to 11:30, "We have to do this," he said. "I didn't realize we were making history!"

summer upick chronicle

While moving around some papers near the phone today, I found the upick list that I kept from this past summer. It has on it the number of times I went to the upick and what I picked each time. Amounts picked can usually be assumed to be in flats (or 12 pints). I stopped keeping track of exactly when I went to each upick around about the time that I lost the list for the third time. There are a few dates written down to give a sense of what was in season when, but no more than that. I also kept track of how many pints I picked from our own blueberry bushes out front. This year we got 38 pints or roughly 40 pounds, which definitely cut down on the amount of times I picked blueberries at the upick.

So- all in all it looks like my kids and I went to a upick of some sort or other 21 times, mainly assorted berries, depending on the season, with some peaches thrown in at at the end. We skipped major apple picking this year and didn't end up picking any cherries, either, though I heard it was a good year for them out in the gorge for sure. We also went back to GM Farms to pick up pears and some apples that I used for canning.

1. strawberries at krugers (06/16/10)
2. strawberries at krugers with ellen
3. raspberries at the pumpkin patch on sauvie island with ellen
4. strawberries at baggenstos
5. strawberries at baggenstos with ellen, evan and gemma
6. sylvan blackberries, tayberries, red raspberries at west union gardens (07/02/10)
7. red raspberries at west union gardens
8. red raspberries at west union gardens (07/17/10)
9. blue berries at bonny slope
10. blue berries at bonny slope with esme and nicole
11. marion berries, boysenberries, red rapsberries at west union gardens
12. marion berries, red raspberries, black caps at west union gardens (07/21/10)
13. red raspberries, black caps, currants at west union gardens
14. red raspberries and peaches at sauvie island farms with ellen
15. peaches at gm farm with ellen
16. blackberries at west union gardens
17. fall red raspberries at west union gardens
18. yellow raspberries, black berries at west union gardens
19. yellow raspberries, black berries at west union gardens with ellen
20. yellow raspberries, black berries at west union gardens with my dad
21. apples, peaches? and maybe pears at josey farms, although my memory is mixing years for this one

I obviously love to go to the upick. It is one thing I miss during the cooler weather months and am happy to have some greens, carrots and onions still growing in my garden, in addition to various herbs that I can use here year round. I grew up in Wisconsin and the weather here is very mild to my Midwestern sensibilities. I also lived in California for nine years, which turned out to be way too warm for my taste. Portland weather is amazing to me and most of the time I'm happy with what's going on here. There is a small window in December and part of January when I dream of moving back to the snow, somewhere or other, but all of that dreaming stops when the flowers start to bloom here at the end of January and early February. Spring here is long and amazing. I start dreaming of the Midwest again during the summer when I sorely miss thunderstorms and the like. But you can see that the upick and the abundance of berries helps to balance things out a great deal. And on a night like tonight, when it is 60 degrees, misty with a touch of fog, my neighbor's holiday lights glowing in the darkness, it seems just about perfect, whatever the month or season.

winter expansion

When I took the compost out to the compost bin this afternoon, I noticed the buds beginning to form on the maple tree. Buds that will become flowers and bloom sometime at the end of January or into February, if I am remembering correctly. Maybe a little later? I don't think it's all the way into March but right now I can't be completely sure and I don't want to take the time to look it up. (OK- I looked it up. Looks like our maple is one of the first maples to bloom, which could mean as early as mid-February {or early March} here, what with our mild climate...)

I was reminded again of how much growth actually occurs- is often prepared for- during times of rest. Think of it. Our maple has just barely lost all of her leaves and is already replacing them with small buds. Readying for expansion even in the midst of winter (well, autumn. but nearly winter. that whole transition thing, and all.). This came as an even more poignant thought to me today {than it otherwise might have, although let's be honest here, i am fairly prone to poignancy most of the time.} because I am currently sick- sick enough to need quite a bit more rest than I had initially planned for this week. And I was surprised by it. The illness surprised me. I didn't think I was getting sick until I was already sick. No amount of hat-wearing and kombucha drinking were able to ward off this illness. Not this time.

But that's OK. For the most part. That's what I'm trying to say. And- that- while being sick is certainly not my preference, there is a particular quality of epiphany and understanding that can come from this state, that seems to be born from it. That I am privy to *only* when I am this sick. If I allow it.

And I'm not saying I want to stay ill. Or that we can't understand things {other things} when we feel healthier. I wouldn't want to quantify it in that way. Or compare. Just that this morning I recognized this certain bit of illness wisdom and was happy for it. And decided again- always again- to not push against the virus or my body, but to do what they both asked for. To take care. To rest. To be sick. And to listen to the wisdom that can only be found therein.

December

I spent some of the morning before my kids woke up reading quotes about the month of December. I expected some of the drearier quotes- the ones that focused on the lack of flowers and sunshine {and truly this *is* one aspect, I don't deny it. but only one aspect, not all aspects...}- but was thoroughly delighted? (an underused word that brings to mind other underused words, poetry, maidens dancing and the like...) to find so much poetry and many thoughts reflecting on the beauty to be found in this seemingly quiet month. Many of the quotes focused on the holidays at the end of the month {true}, but many others spoke of the cold still winter season and the grace found within. This one by Wallace Stevens was one of my favorites. I didn't think I usually liked him. Either way, I may have to revise my opinion of him after this poem-

"One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;

And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter

Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,

Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place

For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is."
- Wallace Stevens, Snow Man

Holiday Blooms

Christmas cactus in full bloom. Should I rename her Holiday cactus? She will most likely bloom like this through December. Then- if I'm lucky- she will take a break and bloom again in February/March when the sun changes it's slant again.

January

Illness crept in last night and today leaving me very sick, asleep-on-the-futon-in-the-middle-of-the-day sick, icky fear-of-the-flu kind of sick. I am hoping another good night's sleep and the sunshine predicted for tomorrow will do me some good. That, and the zen quality this type of illness can bring if I let go of resisting the illness and just let it be. Letting the illness be has a lot to do with taking it easy, which is probably what I should have been doing to being with. I have a tendency to want to make big plans and run around with high-minded-projects in January and really, each year what I find is that January calls for rest and hibernation. Let the plans ferment. Begin them fresh when the flowers bloom. All else leads to illness and a forced time of rest, which is what I should have been doing to begin with. But I digress.

Tonight, under the influence of ibuprofen, I started my January knitting project. What did I say about grand plans and illusions of accomplishment? Surely I wasn't referring to knitting. Nor writing. Nor finding inner peace and other spiritual whatnot. All other projects, though, can wait. For now. Until duly inspired to return.

I am hoping to knit the art lace bag from the recent winter issue of Interweave Knits this month. I am not using the yarn suggested in the pattern, however, because one of the women at my yarn store recommended another yarn. She said the one in the pattern would pill fairly quickly and recommended another yarn of the same gauge (~2 stitches/ inch) by Cascade Yarns. I chose a lovely rusty orange (#6029) for the color because as Samuel pointed out, that was the color I really got excited about. He said if I chose the brown it would be because I had thought about it too much and where, he asked, is the fun in that? I bought the orange.

Eva hanging the last of the ornaments she made this year for our tree. Do you see the small, white stuffed guinea pig up near the top of the tree? A little while after we decorated the tree, the kids and I drove around the neighborhood looking at lights and listening to The Nutcracker. At one point while we looked at some Grinches and Santas and Bears, Eva said, "I wonder why more people don't decorate with guinea pigs?" Yes, the pigs have truly taken over our household. How to explain that many people don't know that guinea pigs are Christmas animals too?

Two stories from today.

The first one. This morning Samuel and I were the first ones awake. Samuel got both guinea pigs out of their cage and sat with them for a few minutes. When they tired of that, the pigs ran off to check out the house, a little piggie floor time, if you will. The funnest part was sitting with Samuel and watching the guinea pigs root around together. Terrence followed close behind Albert, as usual. Each pig had his nose out and his body low. There was an almost constant chatter between them. We talked about how Terrence's legs are much longer than Albert's and that he looks as though he has knee high socks on when he runs very very fast across the floor. The pigs moved along the wall until they reached the curtains and crawled underneath. And then- we saw first one nose and then another nudge out from under the curtains, the only evidence that guinea pigs were there at all. There were a few catalogs and pieces of paper scattered near the curtains and both guinea pigs, first Albert, then Terrence, began gently chewing on the catalogs. Samuel and I burst out laughing. What a sight. Two guinea pig noses and mouths sticking out from under the curtains, nibbling away on Christmas catalogs. Nibble nibble stop. Nibble nibble stop. Soon Maxwell and Jack sauntered over as well to have a look at the guinea pigs and what they were up to and that cracked Samuel and I up even more. There is nothing quite like Jack and Maxwell looking suspiciously at the guinea pigs, wondering what they are all about and if there is something edible there for themselves. Jack never tires of sniffing catalogs, carrots, kale, dandelion greens in a last ditch effort to find something, anything, to eat. I swear sometimes he even shakes his head at the guinea pigs and looks at me quizzically as if to say- "That's what they're eating? That's what all the commotion is about?" Thankfully he doesn't seem to consider the guinea pigs in the least bit edible, just smaller members of the pack.

And the second. I was walking up to the front door carrying sandwiches and yarn when I stopped to watch bushtits fly about on the suet. There are large flocks of them around the suet feeders everyday now. I have one suet feeder hanging in front of the living room window and one in the back yard by the other bird feeders. On a good day, the bushtits will fly back and forth from one feeder to the other, sometimes landing in the trees nearby, sometimes not. Today while I stood there watching the bushtits, a hummingbird flew up to the nearby hummingbird feeder I had refilled just yesterday. Most of the syrup was frozen inside but there was some at the very bottom that had thawed in the sunshine and the hummer sat perched on the feeder and ate for a very long time. When he was done he flew over to the laurel a few yards away and perched on a limb there. I stood very still in the cold sunshine and felt blessed at having caught all the birds at the feeders at once. I love the activity of the birds during winter- the flocking, the time spent at the feeders, the chattering to one another. All of it reminds me that while we typically think of winter as a time of rest and hibernation, there is activity here as well. Each season brings movement of its own kind, each adds to the movement of the others. And we are each a part of it all.

When late afternoon is suddenly 3:30 pm and the light outside is casting the longest shadows of the year. We have had gloriously-cold-sunshineyness over the last several days here. The kids are talking of snow but alas, there is not a cloud in the sky, a marked contrast to the days preceding this cold snap.

Today Samuel's project was to fill up the kiddie pool outside with water from the kitchen sink. His goal is to have not one but two large containers of water that will freeze so that he can spend his mornings breaking up ice, a favorite activity for him and Eva this time of year. Eva is also dreaming of an ice rink in the backyard and is hoping at the very least to be able to stand on the frozen pool of water tomorrow.

I have been busy knitting mittens and now fingerless gloves for the kids. For some reason the mittens have not been a big hit in the choosing-to-wear-them-when-cold sense of the word. Every child in my family was choosing to wear my fingerless gloves when he or she was outside and cold instead of the mittens I dutifully carried around for them. This made for very cold momma hands and very cold other-child hands as well. So, after spending a little time feeling frustrated and considering just framing the mittens, I decided to knit both kids fingerless gloves- when in Rome, if you can't beat 'em join em, and all that. Eva was sick the other day and I knit her pair that day. Samuel's will hopefully be done today, unless I run out of yarn, which is a distinct possibility, in which case it will mean another trip to the yarn store tomorrow. I am loving the yarn I used for Samuel's mittens and now for both of their fingerless gloves. It is a worsted merino wool from Malabrigo Yarns. So yummy soft and warm. I want to knit everything in it. The mittens and gloves are knit at 6 stitches/ inch and the woman at my yarn shop showed me a shawl she knit at 4 stitches/ inch that felt very close to cashmere. Heavenly.

The other fun thing the kids and I have done was to go and see Fantastic Mr. Fox- Wow! I have an extra soft spot in my heart for foxes anyway and this movie made it even cushier. Just a lovely funny marvel of a film. I can't say enough goodness about it- about the story and the music and the details and the crazy perceptiveness of the film's creators. So many little details that made it just so.

s-l-o-w-d-o-w-n

So I have been feeling very slow and am wondering if this is winter. One of the reasons I like it here in the Pacific Northwest is that I find the rain and cloud cover to be very relaxing, soothing even at times. But even I recognize that extended periods of this weather can really slow things down. And right now I think that is just fine. Let's see what happens when we go with the flow of the seasons and let winter slow us down a little...

On another note, Facebook does not allow images of breastfeeding mothers and considers them to be "obscene, sexually explicit and pornographic". I am posting this blog here to get the word out. Obviously, pictures of breastfeeding mothers are not obscene, sexually explicit or pornographic. Facebook's attitude is unacceptable. We need to be able to see images of mothers breastfeeding their children openly, without shame, with joy and love. We need this to be commonplace! Acceptable! Applauded!



Eva and I have been doing a lot of puzzles. We were particularly proud of this one which is made up entirely of pieces shaped like little lizards (schmuzzle puzzle from when I was a kid)- except the edges, of course. She asked me to take this picture when we finished up the puzzle today. Triumphant!

fifty degrees, snow's melting away...