I am finishing up my second batch of strawberry jam. What started out as a mildly melancholy sort of day turned into a wildly productive one. The lawn is taken care of, three areas in the yard were cleaned up, the tomatoes were given more room, the kitchen was cleaned, the refrigerator was cleaned out (OK- not all of the refrigerator was cleaned out. Not the um bottom produce drawer, for instance. But the rest of it. Nearly.) Jam was made!

I realized again this morning that while I understand when my kids are going through periods of disequilibrium (although sometimes I admit to being pulled to this realization rather abruptly) I am less likely to take note of this tendency in myself. This morning I bumped into the realization that perhaps this was what was currently happening- a period of disequilibrium. Chaos, if you will. One of those times that takes you by surprise after a long and engaging flow has slowly or quickly come to an end.

Disequilibrium can have a flow of its own, if only we allow it. Accept it. Suggest to ourselves that nothing is wrong. It could be argued that it is during these times that the growing is done. What we have learned, who we are becoming blends into who we were until we can no longer tell the difference. We expand. In fact it is these periods of disequilibrium that ready us for the flow of equilibrium. For all that we become. Making peace with this allows us to embrace these times and accept the changes, the breakthroughs, the revelations that they bring. And the chaos. Especially the chaos.