talking about frontal lobe development on a parenting list i am on, one of the list founders posted this visual of the brain to illustrate that what we sometimes think of as *misbehaviors* in children are in reality the result of undeveloped frontal lobes. the frontal lobe regulates self-motivation, appropriateness of behavior, impulse control.

i am currently reading my stroke of insight by jill bolte taylor and am finding the chapters on brain science fascinating and really applicable to thinking about children's behavior, particularly those behaviors deemed socially unacceptable behaviors. i added this to a parenting list today and wanted to share it here-

In the book Taylor talks about the limbic system, the part of the cerebral cortex that has to
do with emotions. When we have sensory input, we have a an emotional response
to that input in the limbic system first and we have a thought about it after.
Our limbic system is active throughout our lives but it does not mature, making
it possible for us to have an emotional response like a two year old as an adult
(or as a nine year old or fifteen year old...). As the outer layer of our
cerebral cortex matures, we are capable of having different ideas, images about
the present moment and can then think of things differently and have a different
response (than a tantrum, for instance).

And this is great- if our surroundings are such that we feel safe, we are open
to learning and to our memory found in the hippocampus (oh if I get angry, I can
use my words) but if we do not feel safe then our amygdala, which is the part
that has to do with fear, rage, preserving us, kicks in to keep us safe and
there goes the memory, there goes the learning!

So fascinating to keep in mind- even for us as adults, when we feel threatened,
our amygdala kicks in. No wonder it is harder to keep our cool when our kids
are losing it around others and we feel judged! And particularly for kids whose
outer cerebral cortex has not matured, even kids who we think have learned to
respond in more socially acceptable ways, if they are feeling frightened,
judged, unsafe in any way, they are more likely to respond from that place of
fear, rage, self-preservation (from the amygdala). And if you have a highly
sensitive child whose nervous system is picking up MORE, well no wonder is all I
have to say there!

I love how this brain science is so in sync with what we know about attachment
and connection. It stands to reason that if our kids feel connected and safe
they will be able to respond from a different part of their brain than if they
are feeling disconnected and fearful.

looking forward t reading more about her experience. if you haven't already seen it, her TED talk is worth watching (it is actually worth watching more than once, so if you have seen it once, check it out again!)