on bowling alleys and food found therein

Today, while getting ready to go to the bowling alley for home school bowling, I told Samuel and Eva that I wanted us to eat before we left the house because a) we have a lot of food in the house and b) I didn't feel like spending very much on food while we were there. The last time we went bowling there were fries and pizza and sodas and any number of other foods of that sort. And I really wanted to go to the bowling alley on the cheap. Or at least think about it. Plus, it seems like we get in this habit of going places and eating food everywhere we go and it adds up and the food that we have at home just sort of sits there. So.

So Samuel said to me, "I'm not hungry now." I raised my eyebrows at this. It seemed slightly suspect to me because he had been up for a few hours and had so far eaten nothing. But who am I to presume hunger on someone else? Or so goes my motto {usually} {at least}. Still, the ticking of the clock and the idea of efficiently eating lunch at home before going to the bowling alley were also sitting fairly solidly in my mind. Oh the balance of it all.

In the time that it took me to go over these two points of view and make myself some lunch, Samuel had come up with more information. These are his exact words. He said he didn't want to "waste an opportunity to eat good food." I actually did a double take. Then he said something like, "Don't get me wrong. The food we eat at home is good. It's just normal. The food at the bowling alley is a treat." This is hilarious to me. It has been a long long time since I considered anything served at the bowling alley to be good food. Much less a treat.

And. In addition to doing a double take and suppressing a bit of a chuckle, I was really grateful. Glad even. That Samuel had chosen to phrase it just like that and let me know what the bowling alley food meant to him. It completely shifted my perspective. Don't get me wrong; I didn't *not* want us to eat lunch before leaving the house. No, I still wanted that. But- I did see how and why he might look forward to a grilled cheese at the bowling alley. And how that has very little to do with the food I had planned for us to eat for lunch. And how a normal we-eat-this-every-day turkey sandwich might seem just-a-little-bit like a let down after thinking he might have been able to have bowling alley food. And who knows- again, not I- how long he had been considering the bowling alley food. When in I march, with all sorts of plans for eating at home and such. It's good to get all of the information.

And do you know? While at the actual bowling alley, all Samuel ended up wanting was a bag of chips and a soda. So not really much of a surprise there. Still on the cheap. And so much less of a break in connection than if I had gone through all of the actual motions of putting-my-food-down. Not that I necessarily relented. Once I understood where he was coming from. What was important to him. What was on his mind. The whole thing became a sort of non-issue. Amazing. Plus, now I know. At least for the time being.