connection!

Samuel was telling me earlier that he was having an awful day, a really hard time. My first reaction was one of surprise. Sometimes I think he is enjoying himself and then he tells me he is most definitely not and I feel confused. Frustrated. Annoyed. Tired. Or he tells me that the day is awful and I remember seeing him at some point smiling and playing. This time I let these thoughts come and go in my mind and I said to him, "Do you want to come and sit on my lap?"

At first his eyes lit up but then he sighed and slumped forward. "No."

So I asked, "Is there anything we can do to help you feel more connected?" Samuel replied that sometimes there was just nothing I could do to help him feel more connected. Maybe he didn't even want to feel connected. How about that?

OK- I can relate to this. I don't want anyone messing around with how I am feeling sometimes, trying to convince me to give up my frustration for cheer when I am not quite ready. It is a fine line between stuffing emotions and letting them go when you are ready. At the same time I felt I had hit on something with Samuel and wondered if he was needing some time to connect and what would happen if he got it. So I sort of stuck around. I went into the kitchen and made a snack, puttered around with picking up, busying myself but not become too busy that I wouldn't want to be interrupted. I was available but not obtrusive.

In came Samuel. When I turned around in the kitchen at one point he had set up several groupings of his bionicles who he has been playing with the last couple of days and he started asking me questions- which ones did I like best, why, did I want to hear what they were all about, what their story was? Are you kidding? Or course I wanted to know! Tell me every single detail about what that guy does and how you built him. Where does he live? Who does he fight against.

An hour later, Samuel is definitely having a better day. Smiles. Enjoyment. Inspiration. Connection! And check it out- I have time to blog, check my email, make dinner, knit...