i'm that mom (blueberry inspiration)

today i got the truly inspired idea of offering my kids a dollar for each pint of blueberries they picked. our bushes out front are prolific and one of them is peaking right now. the other three have already peaked but still had a few pints left on them as well. i wanted to get to them today before the robins ate {too many} more (i love sharing the blueberries with the birds but they do tend to take bites out of several at once, all over the bushes. after i was done picking, i made sure i left some for them as well. they do love them so...) i normally don't pay my kids to do things around the house because i want them to do things in the spirit of family and-all-that. today, however, i decided to make an exception to this rule. the picking would be relatively easy, particularly on the busiest bush, and the seasonality of the work would ensure it didn't keep coming up over and over again. (i also offered to pay them to pick up spoiled apples in the back yard but there were no takers for that one. in fact eva asked that the apples remain on the ground because they are a part of a game she plays while swinging.)

initially, both eva and samuel were enthusiastic about picking the blueberries. they were excited about the money. they each planned out how many pints they would pick and settled on one. maybe two. i was happy, patting myself on the back for this moment of inspiration, thinking how every now and then a little money here and there might be alright after all. ahem.

then it all shifted. eva started asking me if she could just have the dollar rather than picking the blueberries. samuel started sighing loudly when he looked out the window at the berries. both averted their gaze when i announced i would be heading out front to pick.

normally, when i go out front to pick blueberries, the kids join me. not to pick, mind you, although that can happen too, depending on the day. eva rides her scooter around the drive way, making obstacle courses, singing songs with the ipod, stopping long enough to scoop up handfuls of berries to take with her. samuel has been enjoying a game with his nerf guns, sitting perched on the hood of the car, legs dangling through the sun roof, shouting orders at transformers or iron man and the like. today, there was none of this. no scooters. no games. no camaraderie out front. there was, however, eva coming out a third time with a sad look on her face asking again if she could {please} just have the dollar rather than actually picking the berries.

and that's when i went inside, got out my purse, pulled out two- one dollar bills and handed one to each child. i told them i was retracting my offer to pay them to pick blueberries. i would love to have their company out front. if they wanted to join in the picking, so much the better. but i would not be paying for this service. it had turned out to be a very bad idea.

both kids looked down at their one dollar bill and then back at me. they thanked me for the dollar and went back to what they had been doing before my course correction had interrupted them. then i put on my headphones and headed back out to the blueberry bushes where i enjoyed the berries, the afternoon sunshine and the birds. i smiled contentedly when i saw eva come out to walk around the roses, grabbing a handful of blueberries as she passed the car.

i was thankful today that i could be that mom who saw when i had made a mistake. eva's handful of blueberries, the smile on her face, my contented picking... all worth so much more than quicker picking and finished tasks. a lesson well learned and much appreciated on this path of letting go and moving on.

i'm that mom (and another)

You can easily see where my mind is at these days, what with the blueberries and peaches and picking and summer time love. Eva eating fruit, running around behind me as I pick and process and taste and bake. Moving around the blueberry bushes outside one day, filling up one pint and then another, I took a break to go inside for water and a quick snack. On my way back to the bushes, I reached out to grab another berry basket for picking, distracted by my ipod, searching for a different song, sure that the berry baskets were on the hood of the car, right where I had left them. And yet, no. No baskets. I looked up. The hood of the car was empty. I looked over to where I had left the already filled baskets. No empty ones there either. Hmmm.

I walked toward the blueberry bushes, looking around and checking for where I might have left the berry baskets {on my way inside}. That's when I saw them lying on the ground in the middle of the driveway. I hadn't left them there. It was slightly curious but I dismissed it as I bent down to pick them up so that I could get back to my picking.

I was suddenly struck by the pattern on the ground. There was a large rock. A pine cone. The berry baskets. An image of Eva on her scooter, zipping around the driveway, around the rock, the berry baskets, the pine cone... Ah yes. An obstacle course. Of course. My berry baskets had been incorporated into Eva's obstacle course. I smiled. And then I bent down to pick them up anyway.

And I stopped myself. Surely I could find other berry baskets. Other containers, even, to put the blueberries in. There was really no reason to disrupt the obstacle course (and with it the pleasant equilibrium we had all reached while spending time together in the front yard). Sure enough, I checked in the car and found half a dozen more berry baskets. (I'm sure there were more inside, in addition to several dozen different styles of bowls and buckets in assorted shapes and sizes. At least.) No shortage of those around here. (No shortage of anything, really, when I thought about like that.) I grabbed the new stack of empty baskets, smiled again at the obstacle course, and headed back over to continue picking blueberries, happy to be that mom who could be creative enough to allow for many different uses for berry baskets. At least.

i'm that mom

In keeping with a meme that has been floating around facebook for the last couple of weeks, I'm that Mom is an homage to the choices we make as parents (in this case, as mothers) in the spirit of allowing our children to be who they are and fostering that original nature within. It's in the spirit of learning. In living life fully. In letting go of- throwing out, even- the stories and rules that no longer work for us. That we no longer wish to have govern us. It's in that spirit that I approach these stories- stories of me and my children, my responses to them, how things flow within our lives {at least some of the time}. It is about my intention. Where I am headed. What I am thinking about {often}. I'm that mom- who I am, who I choose to be in each day-to-day-moment. And my children. The ones who inspire me to be so. Do so. In so many ways.

So here's how it goes- today, Eva brought me a peach (from the boxes of peaches ripening on the patio outside) and she said to me, "Momma, will you cut up this orange for me?" and I said, "Of course (or some such-like in the affirmative...) and I nodded {probably} and took the peach from her...

I'm that mom who didn't correct her. Didn't say something like- "You mean the peach?" or "What orange? It looks like a peach to me." or even just "Peach." because I know that Eva knows she is holding a peach, not an orange. That we picked these peaches together. That she has eaten them, dripping peach juice down her chin, while I stood by smiling and noticing my fear of peach juice dripping on her white (who on earth wears white to a peach orchard...) shirt and comforting myself with thoughts like- I will be able to get out any stain that lands on that shirt and also, if not, well surely there are other white blouses. And I am that mom who didn't harp on her {this time} about peach stains and enjoyed her peachy enthusiasm. I was there.

And- I am that mom who knows that even if- outlandish as it may seem to me now- she doesn't know it is a peach that she is holding, she will. Someday. Most people do. And if she doesn't? Well, that isn't the end of the world either. (The more likely scenario is, after all, that she will find out the name of the peach if only to make sure she can have so many more of them in her life.)

Still, I'm pretty sure she knew it was a peach all along. And that peaches and oranges and tangerines and nectarines are all so deliciously interwoven in her life with their tasty bites of goodness that Eva's first priority was having that bit of goodness fixed up for her to eat, after all {not talk about}. And with that in mind, I was happy to oblige and honor her priorities therein.