K is for Halo? Or Birthday? Or um Samuel? Hmmm...

Today was Samuel's 11th birthday. He had a big day playing Halo 3 on his new Xbox 360 (I'm so proud I know what that is!), eating cake and Thai food. (Still not a single word that starts with K....)





Blowing out kandles on his double-roll kake. I sure would like some kale.

Hey, it's my birthday...

I started out with a walk at the Arboretum. It's been cold here and it was even colder up there.

birthdays

Our March birthdays have come and gone leaving me with a 10 year old and a 7 year old. Amazing the changes in my babies over the last several years. How similar. How different. Eva spent a good bit of her birthday yesterday putting on different lip gloss, playing with fairies and painting and repainting her nails in different shades of purple and red. Samuel is on a money kick, counting money, imagining monopoly games, recounting money, adding, talking about checking accounts and debit cards, playing monopoly games. We had a nice discussion about home mortgages in the grocery store yesterday...With unschooling math, what better thing to use than money. So very many practical applications to think over and over and over. So many places to try it out. Last week when we went to Toys R Us he took a calculator and notebook to keep track of what he wanted and, more importantly, how much money he would have left if he bought it. On the second trip, after making a full tour of the store he left without buying anything. He said the thrill of knowing he could buy anything he wanted was amazing and apparently took the edge off of actually having to buy something. Ah freedom. If only we all felt so free...

{understanding}

Birthday plans went off without a hitch and the birthday boy was thrilled to bursting with his big day. And then another mellow but still burstingly big day to follow with a second trip to toys r us to return what had been bought the day before (well, one thing was returned, but the clone trooper blaster was definitelly a keeper). {Did the parentheses break the flow? It needed to be said. We can't very well go on and on without understanding holding everything up. Not unless you want to dive right into mis-understanding...and where will that lead you?}

But of course you can. Go on and on {and on} without understanding holding everything up. In fact that's how it often works, with understanding waltzing in a little later, after all the drama and stories have already been told. And everyone looks up at understanding, sauntering in {late!}, surprised he has come at all. Each time, mystified- or irksome, as in "Where have you been! We have been waiting for you?" And he asks- "Did you stop the story telling and wait until I arrived to continue?" {Matter-of-factly.} And we sheepishly answer- "No." and think, we forgot. Again. Things really took off. We didn't think you were really coming this time. You were late.

Late? Right on time? We are glad to see him when he does show up. There's nothing left- no snacks, no drinks- the party's nearly over, everyone worn out from the drama, piecing together what they heard in the stories. Searching for understanding. Or not. Some never search for understanding and are happy for the diversion the drama gives. Some begin searching before the story begins.

If we are surprised, it is because we had begun to believe the stories. We thought understanding was to be found inside them. And he may be- sometimes- helping us tease out what will help us, what truths are lingering there. But sometimes he is not and the stories become a dead end that we wrestle with- holding tightly to them with clenched fists certain we will fall apart if we give them up in favor of understanding. Who would we be without our stories holding us up?

Understanding comes in his own time, when he is ready, when we can hear {and understand} him. He speaks in poetry, in bursts of lightening, with clarity, pulling together loose threads streaming out here and there, bringing them together, bundling them up into bits of peace and love. Setting us free. Or not. Sometimes there is nothing to understand. Things are just as they are, nothing more or less. And continuing to search for understanding at these times can bring the same kind of madness that not searching can bring at other times. But wait, did understanding sneak in here while I was busy telling stories about him? {Of course if he had come in sooner, there would have been nothing to write about today, and for that I am grateful. What would I do without writing to hold me up?}

cake

Imagine me saying it out loud. I am in the process of making Samuel's birthday cake(s) for his 10th! birthday tomorrow. The cake that I have been making for the past- 4 years? is that right? (and as always, thanks to Kerry for the inspiration and introduction to this particular cake...)- is an angel food roll cake with raspberry jam (homemade, upicked, but of course...) inside. Last year or the year before? Samuel started requesting two cakes because one cake was eaten up so quickly. I agreed and to be honest I don't have the heart to go back to one. How many years, after all, will there be with me making angel food roll cakes with raspberry jam inside? So here I am on the eve of his 10th birthday making cakes and researching, you got it, how to get the roll to actually roll this year. Last year's roll was more of a smoosh. Delicious, I agree. Delicious, I was told. A smoosh, nonetheless.

So I found a site with instructions on how to roll the roll. The recipe is different than the one I used but I am definitely trying out their roll technique.

Don't run. The cake will fall...she said as she questioned whether this were really true. Looks like it isn't true. At least so far. I will try to stop cringing when people run by the cake baking in the oven. Even if it is an angel food cake. Even if it is the day before Samuel's 10th birthday. Wisegeek knows...

OK- so far so good. The instructions for rolling the cake are as follows-

Turn cake onto a kitchen towel dusted with confectioners' sugar. Gently peel off waxed paper. Roll up jelly-roll style in the towel, starting with a short side. Cool on a wire rack.

That worked well. Now for the cooling and the second cake...

Ready? And now for the unrolling-

Unroll cake; spread filling evenly over cake.

Tried that. Sorry to say it did not work quite as well as I would have liked. The warm cake cooled into the shape of a roll and when I tried to unroll it, it broke. It's not quite a smoosh, more like a flop. It broke at the hinge where it should have rolled. (Where I wanted it to roll.) So it is basically a roll cake with a lid. I spread the jam and put the lid back on. (Boysenberry for this one, raspberry for the other. If I can find a jar of raspberry jam! I'm still searching the jam shelf...) It should be yummy regardless. Samuel came in and tasted it and looked at it and said, "Mmmm there's that same flavor of the raspberry roll cake." He asked for a slice. And then he said, "Does it always do that?" Ha. I wish I had the answer to that one. I have one more cake to try this year. We shall see.

While you are waiting to see about the roll, here's a little reading about the history of meringue and angel food cakes.

Ah ha! Success! I am excited to say that I tried rolling up the second cake while it was still warm after spreading the raspberry jam (Yep. I found a jar!) on the warm cake and it worked! So that makes one rolled cake and one cake with a lid for this year's birthday celebration. A pretty satisfying outcome, if I do say so myself. Here's to cake. Cake for all.

Just a moment to sit outside- yes, outside- to meditate on this my birthday morning
with a squiggly guinea pig afraid of the outside air. He squeaks and wiggles on my lap searching
for a safe spot to forget that he is fearful when finally I take him inside to munch on salad mix and eye we warily, wondering if I will attempt to pick him up again. Nope. Not again. It's back outside to meditate- what a treat. A full half hour. Outside.

Eva joins me half way through with another guinea pig. This one is calmer, used to meditating, still squirming some, don't put your hands on him or he will shriek. Where can I put my hands if not on my lap while I meditate. It works out. Peace. Today is my birthday.

Eva's pink and purple balloons

*Eva's birthday checklist*

cake with sprinkles and unicorn decorations
orange sorbet
pink AND purple balloons
unicorn balloon
unicorn party hats!
unicorn drawings on wall (Eva is taking care of that one right now- drawing and cutting out unicorns to hang on wall!)
do you see a theme?

The presents are wrapped! I need to buy butter at the store, which really must have been on my mind because I even dreamed of going to the store and buying A LOT of butter! Then to cake baking. I leave the unicorn decorating to Eva and she has worked out the design. Oh right- then to Party City for the balloons.

Eva has also requested a treasure hunt for her presents but said we will do it a little later in the morning because she needs a little bit more sleep...

Happy Birthday Samuel!

Fun!
early morning treasure hunt
excitment
presents
happy happy ds time
Indiana whip
pizza
playing with Jack
outdoor treasure hunt
Indiana Jones
angel food roll cake with jam
orange sorbet
balloons
Ellen and Evan
sharing fun
chicken satay
full belly laughs
lots of love
gratitude
big smiles, wide grins
happy happy the best birthday ever

the day before the day

Senior friends Agnes and Charlie hanging out on my lap together. Charlie was a little nervous at first but soon both were so comfortable in the sunshine on my lap it didn't matter anymore.

Today is the big day before the big day. Today is the day before Samuel's 9th birthday! Today we will buy balloons and put up a giant Indiana Jones banner that says Happy Birthday. Today we will make sure we have candles. We will try and find an Indiana Jones balloon (a trip to Party City is not to be missed!). Today we will make not one but two angel food roll cakes with jam spread inside. Today we will make homemade orange sorbet "just because it is a fun thing to have on your birthday". Today I will put together two treasure hunts- one for Samuel's gifts and one for when his friend Jack comes over later. This year's treasure? Paddle balls!

Last night Eva wanted to watch Spot. You remember Spot, don't you? Sometimes she feels nostalgic for her youth, her babyhood and reaches out for all the little things she remembers from that time. The funny thing about Spot for Eva is that she didn't really ever watch Spot. It is something about the time though, a way of being that she is searching for- like if I were nostalgic for the early 80's and watched The Dukes of Hazard even though I never really watched that show at the time. That sort of thing.

Samuel, however, is so over Spot. In fact he was my child who liked to watch Spot, over and over and over. Apparently he had his fill. Whenever Eva brings a Spot book home from the library or wants to put on the old Spot video he resists. Last night he said, "The thing I don't like about Spot is that he is always learning something. I like the characters I watch to be educated." I could not stop laughing over this. That is Samuel through and through. He really wants people to have it together and doesn't tolerate any waffling around about it. Fascinating quote in light of our unschooling lives. Aren't unschoolers always saying things like "Learning all the time!" Well not around here. Here we have it together :)

But seriously though, it got me thinking about how some characters are portrayed when they are learning and I thought that might be what Samuel was referring to, not the learning per se but the portrayal of learning. Frequently these characters are seen as not knowing things rather than simply learning in their own time. There is an end result to the learning process, those in the know and those out of the loop. It might even be shameful in some stories to not know something, to have to learn. This I feel is what Samuel is responding to when he feels frustrated with different characters and them "always learning something".

He is responding to the idea that you aren't powerful if you need to ask a question, if you aren't an expert. This is something I hope I am helping to shake up a bit around here- for myself as well. Learning is inherent to the process of living. Learning is living. Or living is learning? Either way, each of us is where we are. How could we be anywhere else? Making assumptions, not asking questions, not reaching out for help and even not speaking up when I do know...these are all things I do when I believe I should already know something, or know it better than I do... I guess the word should is a tip off that something is amiss. But hey, I am still learning...

words and pictures

Eva has different words of the day -sometimes- lately. The other day it was discrepancy and throughout the day she would say it in various scenarios, with various meanings attached to it. The interesting thing to me is that how she uses it, with her tone of voice, which part of the sentence it becomes, who she is talking to, it is always just the right word (even if she doesn't quite know our technical meaning, if you get my meaning). "That princess is so discrepancy." "Yes, isn't it discrepancy?"

Then one day it was revolting and that was fun to listen to. Then derogatory- which she even added -illy to, as in derogatorilly. Today I believe, judging from what I have already heard, it may very well be pneumonia. As in, "Pneumonia is definitely not what you want to do."

I was just going through my most recent photos and there are some very fun pictures in there. A picture of Samuel with his head in the candy bag (from the St. Patrick's Day parade in Hillsboro) and lots of pictures of candy taken by Eva so that she can remember all of the different pieces after she has eaten them. Today Samuel had an idea that he could take pictures of people when they are angry and then erase them...and the anger would go away as well. He took a picture of me pretending to be angry and then erased it, otherwise I would post it as well.



Our friends Mary and Addie visited from Texas and we went to the Arboretum with them. Eva and Addie enjoyed climbing up these gigantic tree roots sticking out of the ground. There is Eva in her new "party" dress climbing in the trees and mud! Also, Eva and Samuel carrying Big Baby!




Playing out in one of the many Spring hail storms...



Fast and furious on Easter morning with lots of eggs and bunnies staying up for the Easter Bunny himself!



These are our Easter pictures, as Samuel calls them, and they seem to be all about having rabbits on our heads!



Eva ready for her birthday with her big unicorn balloon; Samuel with his dragon balloon; Eva on her birthday in her new purple shoes holding up her playmobil penguin family and Samuel holds up his lego guy.



Blowing out candles, up close of penguins, riding in a fast car with Samuel at Chuck-E's.



More Chuck-E rides and cupcakes and cake. Eva said, "Momma I thought we were going to have cupcakes and cake for my birthday!"



And this is where Eva spent most of her time at Chuck-E's- the merry-go-round. She just loves it and the lovely part about the merry-go-round is that someone at some point is bound to come up and put tokens in to make it go, so the kids just climb on and look around, waiting for this to happen!



Ok, how cute is this? I gave Charlie one of my old fleece socks and he really likes it. He gets into the sock and sleeps- so warm. And he learned through trial and error to keep his head available for treats!



Eva and Samuel with lots of animals, Eva coloring with others while Samuel has riding lessons, Samuel's self-portrait.



Samuel on Mirage!



Ok and I just can't resist how gorgeous Spring can be with pink petals against dark gray sky- hail is on the way!

birthdays birhdays oh my

Tuesday, March 11 Samuel turned 8! Wowee! Can you believe it? He has been planning planning planning his birthday for several weeks now and I think he really enjoyed his success. Samuel loves to plan and set up a scene and his birthday was no different. There was a robot cake that he helped to decorate (thanks Kate for the recipe!) and we made card board robot cut outs for decorations that he painted and decorated on his birthday eve with lots of red and blue, his favorite colors du jour. We bought 20! helium balloons from party city (they put a boost in the balloons to make the helium last longer and there are still two up in the air today!). I had not considered how to get them back home (although Samuel had) and it is amazing how much you can fit into a honda civic. Samuel was in the back seat with all twenty of the balloons and said he felt like he was in a balloon cage. On his birthday Samuel's friend Jack came over to play and for cake and a treasure hunt. Later Ellen and Evan came over for Thai food and a marshmallow toast and fireworks and of course a game of chess! Everyone went home with a balloon hand picked by Samuel.

This year Samuel asked for a piccolo for his birthday (his is silver) and has decided to take lessons (if I can find someone willing...remember the whole piccolo saga?). He has also been thoroughly enjoying his new Mars Mission sets from lego and his Dragonology book.



Samuel with 20! helium balloons!



Giant robot (based on Samuel) with cut out in hand for weapons to take in and out; robot cake!



Decorating robots the night before; et voila, the robots! (they hung around the house looking their best for the big day!)



Samuel and Jack before cake; marshmallow toast that evening.

Happy Happy Happy

Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me-ee,
Happy Birthday to me!

Much fun today celebrating my birthday. I had planned a couple of outings and adventures for today but Eva and I are still under-the-weather AND it is raining [a lot], so no walk in the woods today. No matter how much Jack wants to. And rather than running about town having tea and Indian food, Ellen is kind kind kind enough to bring the Indian food to me. She is also bringing over a much appreciated birthday pie! And pizza [hot lips!] for all those who don't dream of Indian food on my birthday each year. The kids have already had cupcakes and there are plenty more for all day cupcake fun.

Thank you everyone for all of the bountiful birthday gifts and well-wishes. I enjoy your loving thoughts! Many joyful times to you on my birthday as well!

catch up

Today was Matt's birthday and the kids and I had a little celebration for him, complete with a special ice cream cake from Baskin-Robbins. We gave him a hat he had been wanting for the rain and had fun eating cake and ice cream.



We finished reading The Secret Garden and really enjoyed it. It inspired some more gardening and Samuel wants to take a class to learn to speak Yorkshire. He was quite taken with the character Dickon and has been going out to learn how to charm the animals. He came running in from his garden today to tell me that the plants like him!

Two books we have enjoyed lately are A Cobweb Christmas by Shirley Climo and Would You Rather by John Birningham. We really loved A Cobweb Christmas, which is the story of how spiders (with some help from Kris Kringle) created tinsel for Christmas trees. And Would You Rather is a great conversation-er book. The kids and I had a lot of fun one night talking about whether we would rather learn to ride a pig or a goat or go up a tree with an elf or...you get the idea. It is a lot of fun. And right on time, too! We were in need of a little fun and connection.

Samuel wanted some litmus paper and we found some at Omsi the last time we went. He has been concocting something in the back yard and keeps checking the pH level of it. We tested vinegar, lemon juice, soap, baking soda, water and different combinations of all of these.

Let's see, we are spending our time playing indoors and out these days. Samuel has his indoor PE class at the indoor soccer place and his riding lessons. One round of art classes is over and I have yet to sign them up for more. We went to see a children's concert through the Oregon Symphony which was enjoyable, although Samuel was disappointed they didn't play the entire composition of Peter and the Wolf and instead played different selections from different songs.

The kids have several games going right now with different locations throughout the house and in the backyard. Dinosaurs, firefighters, one with the power ranger figures living in a playmobil castle and something to do with robots? And of course, the Grinch and Sam-I-Am game, which is on-again-off-again and for now is on-again.

It goes something like this, "Wanna play?"
"Yeah, what?"
"Firefighter game..." and the receiver knows all that this entails.
"Yes!" or "No!" depending.
Sometimes there is bargaining like, "Ok, the t-rexes can be good!" or "Ok, I won't make grumpy kitty part of that game."

This goes on throughout the day and they move between games and past games and sometimes they play together and sometimes they play alone and sometimes they play first together and then alone or first alone and then together or first dinosaurs and then into the Grinch game and sometimes they stop and watch The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat with the Grinch and sometimes they watch Green Eggs and Ham with Sam-I-Am. Either way, the best games seem to be late at night, right when I am thinking we really ought to be going to bed...



This is a one person space craft. Check out the leaves from our prodigious Oak!