We went out today to do some last minute Christmas shopping, which I am usually completely opposed to doing. I do not like to venture out into crowds during normal life, much less during the holidays. Still, it had to be done, and I went out into it with my eyes wide open, aware that there would be crowds and traffic and other things I normally keep at bay by choosing to go to the woods instead of the mall whenever possible.
Need I even say that we ran into crowds? So many people. Lots of shopping. Spending. Traffic. {The traffic was un-be-liev-able. Memorable, even. Making a left hand turn proved to be next to impossible and I decided that my good deed for the day was to let anyone who was trying to make a left hand turn in front of me, be allowed to do so. Those people needed all the help they could get.} The kids and I fared pretty well, I think. I am feeling the effects of it all now with the customary thick-headed feeling I get when I am overloaded, but I managed to get through it with a mostly upbeat feeling- maybe because I knew what I was getting myself into before I started? Not sure. What I do know is that I appreciated {when I noticed} each and every bit of holiday cheer, smile, each look of recognition at this state of affairs we all found ourselves in. Each bit of consideration helped to offset the push and rush that *is* the holiday season.
Not to say that this is the meaning of the holiday season. Far from it. And yet, we continue to do it, at least in part, to prepare for the meaning. Our meaning. Whatever that may be. At some point, each of us {mostly} finds ourselves out-in-it, to a greater or lesser degree, depending. Being able to notice the humanity in this shared experience- to notice each other!- I have found, can make all the difference. Being able to create meaning and bring awareness where traditionally we have been taught there is none is a gift each of can give to one another, if not all the time- let's be realistic!- at least once. Then again. And again. The baby you smile at. The woman who says excuse me. The check out woman who winked at my son while we waited in line. The man who waited until Eva got into the car before pulling out and then waved to all of us with a smile. The woman, so grateful, who was able to finally! make her left-hand turn. These things change the face of our day. These things make a difference. And while we bemoan the consumerism and traffic and spending and crowds as most definitely not the meaning of this season, these acts of kindness and grace we can each be a part of during this time of overwhelm, most definitely are the meaning- at least some of the meaning- of this season. Of every season we find ourselves apart of.
At least these thoughts helped me through most of the day- the bulk of a potentially trying situation. Now I am going to take a hot bath and hope that this will pick up where my good intentions left off. At least I don't have to go out into that mess again tomorrow. I probably- to be honest- don't have to go shopping like that until next Christmas. If at all. If only I could get my planning just right, I might never have to go shopping again...
3 comments:
I'm right with you -- on all counts! As a family of four we have a very low-key holiday in terms of purchased gifts. But every other year we come to my parents' house along with my siblings and their kids. My dad is crazy over Christmas!! The movies, music, lights, toys!! He does not see any other angle than Big Fun!!
I was a little scroogy about coming here -- travel at this time of year, we missed our solstice celebration, the weirdness of bringing our gifts here, giving them to each other, and in some cases bringing them back home, knowing that everyone would be shopping rather than being together (let alone in the woods!).
But I also realized that I could make the best of it, listening to myself, pacing ourselves, appreciating the intent of others. And yesterday I went shopping -- at the mall!! -- with my sister and brother-in-law, whom I don't see very often, and we had a really good time. My sis and I laughed and talked and helped each other, and I learned more about her and her life than I would have if we had just stayed home or gone our separate ways.
Your post really moved me to write and reflect in my time here. Thank you!! And Happy Holidays! :)
That's fantastic Stacy! I hope things continue to go well. Here's to finding peace among the chaos. And hot baths :)
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